7 Steps to Correcting Behaviors

Dealing with difficult behavior can be challenging. We want kids to listen and comply with our instructions, but unfortunately kids don’t always listen, and we need a fail-safe way to correct behaviors in the moment. This guide is taken from smarterparenting.comwhich provides some great resources for parents and teachers to help guide children to making better choices by learning from their mistakes.

1.     Get the child’s attention to stop the “problem” behavior.

2.     Express empathy (ex. I realize how frustrating it can be to have someone take away your toy, but we cannot hurt our friends.)

3.     Describe the “problem” behavior. Be sure to be descriptive but avoid judging your child or asking questions. (What I saw was that you hit your friend and hands are not for hitting)

4.     Deliver a consequence. The consequence should be doable and is meant to teach not punish your child. A natural consequence should be used first. (ex. “Hitting is not how we get a toy from our friend Amal. You may not play with Amal until after snack time or you may not play with this toy until after snack time”). A natural consequence of hitting friends is that they don’t want to play with us and that we don’t get our way using hitting.

5.     Describe what you want your child to do instead. Really important: Use words your child will understand. (“I can tell you were frustrated; I need you to ask for help or use your words when your frustrated instead of hitting”)

6.     Give your reason why. Kids need to know why good behavior is important both to you and to them. (Ex: “My job is to keep you safe, and hitting is not safe. I won’t let you hit others and I won’t let others hit you”)

7.     Practice the new behavior. If a child can do it successfully, you can reduce the consequence. (Example: “let’s practice you wanting this toy from me, how would you use your words to get me to share the toy?”)